your name
by carpha
Summary: remembering names is pointless. at least that's what rouga tries to tell himself.


there was no point to remembering names. not when they would all die or leave soon anyways. that's what rouga told himself, at least.

still, even though that's what he believed, he still carved the name of every person who he crossed into his heart. though those names would never cross his lips - acknowledging that he still cared for other people would be taken as a weakness and that was one thing he would never risk - at least there would be someone who would remember of their existence.

even now, years and years away from the slums of his childhood, it was a habit that was hard to break. not that he was particularly trying to break the habit either.

but sometimes, he was tempted to change things up. certain events, certain people… for them he wouldn't mind changing his ways.

he slumped into bed after a long day.

kyoya had had him running around town all day trying to track down some person's kid as a personal favour to a politician that was in kyoya's pocket. being part of disaster wasn't always just getting to wreak havoc with the disaster force; sometimes it was spending 12 hours in the hot sun trying to kidnap a 7 year old child without anyone connecting the dots.

at least there was a bed and room for him in the disaster base now that it had been completed. if he had to sleep in a cave like he did before kyoya tracked him down again he'd probably lose his shit, especially because kyoya had more money than he knew what to do with.

the fan was on high and the lights were off and he was finally starting to doze off when he was jerked awake by the sound of the door being kicked open.

he rolled over to face towards from the wall, frowning slightly at the light now flooding into his room.

"what the hell do you want?" he grumbled. "it's literally-" he struggled for a second to lift his head up enough to check the clock in the corner. "- 11 PM and we all have school tomorrow so leave me alone."

"awww is wouga tired?" a voice proclaimed loudly in a mocking manner. a second later, a lumpy bag was tossed onto him, nailing him in the head, and the bed shifted as the weight of another person was added to it. "get up, dumbass"

ugh. davide. if it was any of the other disaster members, they'd probably leave him alone or go away after some threatening but davide? trying to discourage him from doing something only made him want to do it even more.

"what's so important that you can't let me sleep?"

"i'm bored and you're the only one in the base. so entertain me, rougy."

he sat up, glaring at the intruder in his room with all the irritation and anger he could muster, which, honestly, was quite a lot.

"one, never call me that again. two, what the fuck is in that bag you hit me with. and three, why in the world would you think that i would follow your goddamn orders, huh?" he growled, but davide was completely unphased.

"aww, but widdle gao from the elementary division at aibo calls you that, doesn't he? and why don't you just take a look? it's literally next to your head."

rouga kicked out with his right leg, pushing davide off the bed with a loud THUNK. "don't think i didn't notice that you ignored the third thing i said, asshole."

"what was THAT for?" davide said angrily as he stood up.

rouga smirked. "honestly? because i felt like it."

davide stared at him for a second before barking out a single laugh. "oh really now?" rouga could see a glint in his eyes that meant danger but rouga had dealt with worse things before and he was honestly too dead to really care about what davide was probably planning, so he just pulled up the covers and closed his eyes again, hoping that, for once, davide would get the hint and just fuck off.

as a few moments passed by, he could almost convince himself that he was going to get some peace and quiet and maybe sleep, but the little voice in the back of his head was telling him that davide would never let a challenge like that slide, and it was quickly proven right when a chair was lobbed onto his bed in quick succession, along with at least 4 sets of clothing. the chair, luckily enough, only hit the wall instead of him, bouncing off to clatter to the floor. on the other hand, the clothes hit his face with a thwunk, the impact strong enough to actually push him back a bit.

"what the actual fuck, davide?" he said as he opened his eyes to davide's smarmy grin.

"well, i just felt like it you know~" davide said, tongue sticking out and hands thrown into the air.

rouga closed his eyes, took a few deep breaths, and then curled back up again under the covers, refusing to react in any way.

"hey, hey-" davide started, before he started shaking rouga by the shoulder. rouga just let himself get shaken around, too tired to even be irritated anymore.

davide went silent. even though rouga's eyes were closed, he'd bet the clothes on his back that davide was pouting at the moment. not that davide would ever admit to pouting, but he did sometimes. a lot of the times, honestly.

a moment later, he heard the sound of his door clicking shut again, and he felt his body relax slightly as he became the only one left in the room.

it was something he would never tell anyone, but now that he had access to the disaster force, being around others without it activated and ready to use felt somewhat like running around naked. people like shido called him ridiculous for keeping it on for the majority of the time he was awake, especially when they say how much time and effort he had to put into keeping his hair soft and tangle-free when it was that long, but it was kind of like a security net for him. it was a reminder that at a moment's notice, he could protect himself. it was a reminder that he had the strength to fend off anything that would harm him.

and when davide had barged into the room, he hadn't had the time to activate it nor did he have an explanation as to why he would use it the moment that davide entered the moment, so he simply had to deal with the situation without the comfort that using the disaster force brought him.

it was somewhat ironic that a force named after the disasters that it could create would be something that made him feel safe.

rouga shifted around a bit until he was back in a comfortable position, then let himself fall asleep.

at around 3 am, he felt a wet nose pressing against his cheek.

"cerb?" he said, "what do you want?" his words were slurred and barely intelligible from still being half asleep, but cerberus got the point anyways.

"rouga. did you check the bag?" his buddy asked.

rouga… really didn't understand why the bag was so important that cerberus would wake him up in the middle of the night over it, but responded anyways. "i haven't"

"i think you should look in it then"

"can it wait until morning?"

cerberus aggressively nipped his fingers in response. "what do you think rouga?"

rouga groaned, but he rubbed his eyes and got up, lazily flicking on a small lamp. he pulled the formerly tied-off plastic grocery bag to him and looked inside.

it took a few seconds for him to process what he was seeing, but when it clicked, he immediately inhaled.

"oh."

cerberus nodded. "yeah. oh."

rouga pushed his blanket to the side, carefully standing up and stretching to get the sleepiness out of his body. well, as much as he could at least, considering the fact that it was 3 AM.

he stared at his dresser, which was still half open with clothes strewn everywhere from when davide had been rummaging through it earlier that night, before making the decision to not replace his pajamas with anything else. no one else was in the base, apparently, and even if there was anyone else, he didn't give any shits about if they saw him in his boxers or not. his dick wasn't out and neither were his nipples and that was honestly the best they would get from him.

he padded down the hallway silently until he found the unlabeled room that, for some reason, he still knew to be davide's.

he stood there in front of the door for a minute, contemplating what he wanted to do. and then, he took a deep breath, didn't activate the disaster force, and then knocked on the door, opening it up a second later.

davide was laying in his bed, eyes wide open and staring at the ceiling while he mindlessly tossed a small ball up over and over again while a song playlist was open and playing on his laptop in the corner. he glanced over at rouga for a second before turning his gaze back to the wall.

rouga closed his eyes, steeled himself, and then-

"davide- thank you."

davide froze in place, not even reacting when the ball missed his hand and rolled to a stop on the floor.

"you were trying to cheer me up in your own stupid way and i was too dumb to notice that, since you aren't the type to ever admit that kind of thing."

davide turned his head to the wall, refusing to look at rouga at all.

a minute passed, then two.

right before rouga was about to turn around and leave, davide finally spoke. "i think that's the first time you've ever said my name. i kinda thought you didn't even know it."

'of course i know your name' rouga almost said, but managed to stop himself at the last minute.

'of course i know your name.'

'of course i keep your name close to my heart.'

'i never spoke your name not for lack of knowledge but for lack of courage.'

'i was afraid that i would get attached to you and that you'd leave me like everyone else does'

there were so many things that rouga could have said but in the end, he settled for just one word, said with as much fondness that he can muster.

"davide." rouga's face twitched up into a soft smile as he stared at davide, who finally looked back at him.

he stepped closer and closer, davide's name rolling off his tongue almost naturally at this point.

over and over and over, davide's name filled the room, until finally he and davide were forehead to forehead, rouga taking the moment to clasp both of their hands together.

rouga smiled. davide blushed and looked away once more.

"davide. davide. davide."

"...you're a big sap. you know that, right, rouga?"

at some point, rouga and davide had apparently fallen asleep on each other, as rouga woke up snuggled up to davide's side underneath one of his arms.

he carefully extracted himself from the bed while making sure that he didn't wake davide (who was most likely going to skip school anyways, and didn't need to wake up at such an ungodly hour), stretching as he made his way to the door.

as he opened the door, though, he heard a barely intelligible (but still understandable) goodbye from davide.

the moment he opened the door to his room, cerberus uncurled from where they had fallen asleep on top of rouga's head pillow then paces over to him. "i can't believe you didn't look in the bag yourself."

rouga grinned wryly but didn't say anything as he got dressed in his normal outfit for school.

he was sliding his arms into the sleeves of his blazer when cerberus spoke up again.

"i wonder how he found out what your favourite snacks are."

rouga shrugged lightly as he straightened out his outfit. "probably blackmailed one of the others to ask kyoya or something. he has that little notebook he's always writing down dirt in, isn't he?"

cerberus barks loudly in amusement.

"ready to go, cerb?"

"ready as always, rougy"

"cerberus. why."


End file.
